Middle Age ROCKS

Dear 29 year old Emily,
Listen, things are about to get rough. College was fun. Grad school was good, too. Now, you're in a new job, a new house, a new marriage. Your spouse is gravely ill. Your house is falling apart around you. You're going to have a few VERY rough years ahead. I don't want to spoil the surprise, but just as you and Brit begin a family, his health is going to fall completely apart and you're going to lose your job. You two will be living on unemployment and long term disability with a baby in the house. Because you manage to find happy when you need it, you will recognize the simple joy of the three of you with endless time together. The finance part will SUCK, yes, but the time alone with your new family? Priceless. And your parents and Brit’s parents aren’t going to let you starve. There will be times where you're thankful Brit is in the hospital because they've turned off the electricity but at least you and Lydia and Brit have a place to sleep. A lot is going to happen. Brit will have 9 surgeries in 3 years and, quite frankly, go more than a little crazy as a result. Also, there's another baby, a boy this time, and while he's exactly what your family needs, managing an infant and a spousal psychotic break plus a very, very stressful job will be more than you think you can handle at times. Lots of times. But listen; Brit will get better. You'll get a new job, and then another, and then another. Your degree will pay off and your career will advance. Along the way, you'll have that second baby, and Brit will find a really good therapist. You'll find an amazing school where Lydia will thrive. Your family will blossom. Brit will find his musical groove and play because he loves it, with people he also loves - surprisingly responsible adults with no drama or addictions.

So here is what I'm telling you. Keep your head up. Keep doing what you're doing. It's going to be so, so hard and you are going to be exhausted in ways you didn't know possible. You are going to sit, alone on the floor of your kitchen and sob your eyes out because you are miserable. And then you'll get up and keep going. Hear this: It. Pays. Off. It all works out. Guthrie and Lydia are amazing. Funny and smart and loving and just genuinely good company. Brit is happy. You are happy. You made good decisions along the way and you worked hard and you struggled and you came out right where you needed to be. You have amazing friends, an incredible family and things are good. And now when you are alone in the kitchen and you cry it is with gratitude, for all that we have. I'm so proud of you, twenty and thirty something me, for hanging in there and fighting the good fight. I know the kids sometimes made you nuts and I know sometimes it was so hard to be patient and kind but you did so good. Lydia is blossoming into the most amazing young woman. She's such a good, good soul, and she's so beautiful. Thank you for all the ways in which you nurtured her. Thank you for Guthrie. I know you waited and worried and tried forever just to bring that boy into this world, but you did it, and the world will never be the same. Thank you for being honest with Brit and telling him what you needed, and for listening to him and staying with him. He loves us all so much and he is such a good man. We have a good life. I know it was so hard for you to get us here, but you did so GOOD. Enjoy it. I'm really pretty sure it's just going to keep getting better and better from here. Thank you.